Walls

the truth is that falling asleep alone
has burned a hole in me. I would like
to be steely and unaffected by solitude
but I am a companion by nature.
I cannot help but wait until I am held tightly
by something other than bedsheets.

lately, I find myself repeating
the same songs seeping
into my pores and leaking
out through my tear ducts.

I suppose all I can do now is bathe
in saltwater and continue to glance
over my shoulder, just in case
I missed someone
because looking forward
to finding romance
has only brought me a pocketful
of hurtful lovers and regret.

and I have given up on giving up
because the only walls in my path
are the ones I have built
to keep myself safe.

they are not working anymore.
I am neither comfortable nor satisfied.
I am merely lonely.