109.

sometimes I see what looks like blackness
or spiked void out of the corner of my eye
and I think it is a picture of you

so I sit in the bathtub with my laptop
because it reminds me of the feeling
of being in your arms: deadly and electric.

these are the days when I miss you -
my first, my oldest lover who took everything
from me, who taught me how to hate

and how to cherish. there was nothing
to forgive. you were always a poisoned apple
and if you were offered to me today,

we both know
I would relish the chance
to have you in my mouth again.