38.

I’ll hide it all inside my web browser
close the window
and swallow it down
hard

Me, I’m a surfer
of the saddest waves
coughing up that stuff
I promised I’d ignore
into the toilet

Saying “no
don’t worry
I’ll be right back.”

It’s not that easy,
No, it’s never that easy.

I keep flushing but
the bowl is overflowing
and my cats are scratching at the door
my hair is soaked with sweat
my breath smells rancid

imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou

But Elvis Perkins, baby, you sure calm me down.

So I’ll hide it all inside an iTunes playlist.
burn one down
and give it to you
(don’t you see, and
don’t you see?)

“No, really,
I promise
I’ll be right back.”

Violence is always my answer.
Me, with my broken feet
my broken calves
my broken arms
and I fall into you with
water in my eyes,

helpmehelpmehelpmehelpmehelpme

Cutting up my face and hands
to watch the blood flow
down my shoulders,
and god-damn, it’s the
prettiest sight
I’ve ever seen.

“It’s not my dinner
that I’m heaving up,
I swear,
I just don’t feel well.”

I am ugly, bruised
and melting
into lovely gold-cured mead.

“I promise, really,
I will be right back.”