Cutting Curves

my frame has rounded
like a flour sack filling up
through the years
and I have become
curved

I suppose that makes me
a "real woman"

but I felt real
before
and I did not hate
my reflection so much

my insides were on fire and they twisted
into angry knots when I slept
I know that I disliked
what was underneath my skin, but
my skin itself
looked alright, at least

and nowadays I am told
to keep my chin
up more often than
when I was thin

(so I must assume that my chin
 has justifiable cause
 to sink
 now that I am
 rounder)

I will admit that I would gladly
spend my evenings
cutting curves
from my hips and belly
even though I know

that souls do not grow more beautiful
when they diet -
they only waste into bone matter
with nothing warm or kind to hold onto

so I suppose a thick soul is best
but if I could look
just a little bit
littler
around the edges
and still keep a nice fat heart
I cannot help but think

it would feel better