111.

you have glorified and excused yourself
and you have not realized that you were both
only sixteen, and then eighteen
and then twenty
and he was part of it, too

you think of him crying
you think of him telling you he could
not keep going without you
and you remember trying to fight his battles
for him, and his arms
when he visited you in the hospital
the yellow sweater he wore

forgiveness is a strange thing
it sneaks up on you
fills your lungs with fresh air
and reminds you
that you were not the only one
hurting