Unparalleled Recklessness

throw my head back into dust
swirling in the glow of Saturday night
with honeyed whiskey in red cups and
so much that gleamed

and the only thing left from it
is the flush in my cheeks
and a headache

because I remember too much
like your careless breeze
against my face
and a smile that slides sideways slightly
when you've had too much to drink
(which is often almost
 every night)

that honeyed whiskey wasn't
quite sweet enough
to wash you from my mouth, and
nothing really ever is,
apparently

I found out too late
when they pulled my arms aside
to whisper at me urgently and kind
that you have hooked me
line and sinker
still

and they could see me
struggling

see, Saturday night
had me all starry-eyed until
they told me
that I had made a fool of myself

(because when you come at me
 with that careless sideways smile I always
 make a fool of myself)

and the sloppy edges of my mouth
must have looked horribly undone
like I had somehow lost my lips
in my frenzied search
for yours

I have always asked
too much of you

you are warm and thoughtless
and I have pursued your indifference
with unparalleled recklessness
since the last day
you kissed me, but

the only thing left from it
is the flush in my cheeks
and a headache