29.

Her earlobes flower bloom
Out from her face
And hang like vines
All down her shoulders

Ants are crawling freckles
On her cheeks and nose
With spider lashes spreading
Spindly legs across her eyes

She is in motion

Her feather fractured bones
Creak swallow songs
And blood like wine
Flows sweetly in her fingers

A winking eye sparks
Tiny fireflies around her hair
With downy coats of bird fluff
Spilling free around her heels

I am warm
Inside her hands

28.

I dreamed of you last night, my love, my love. Of your yellow sweater hugs, and I was crying as you left, my love. As you placed me into strangers' hands with care, my love, and rode with me to airports far away to sail back to my family, back to the safest place for me, my love, my love. I was crying and you held my hand, my love, just like you did that last December. Baby. You are my December baby. And all my loved ones fell, my love, my love, fell into death and stretchers and then you were gone my love and I was being held by some white-coated man. My love, my love, you left me there. I dreamed that you had let me go, had said goodbye and let me hold your hand while shuttles drove us to our last farewell, and I was crying, crying, silent tears along my cheeks, my love, my love. I drove myself insane with you, my love. I shook in meager clothes and you, you rocked me back and forth, my love. You placed me into strangers' hands to care for me in ways you never could. But I did not want to go, my love, my love. I did not want to be brave and alone, I wanted you, my love, my love, I wanted you and all your comfort on my skin, inside my hair. I wanted you.
And when I woke, my love, my love, I loved you once again. For you, my love, have held me up when I have drowned, have kissed my broken face and called it sweet. For you, my love, for you. I dreamed of you last night, my love, my love, I dreamed of you.

27.

your hair like lilacs
and silver collarbones
i want to touch

little and waifish
you are a pixie nymph
blossoming tiny florets on your fingers

i want to see what grows
beneath your bones
and wind it up around my arm

and for the life of me
i cannot understand
why you’ve picked
me

26.

I can’t get it out, I can’t get you out
I can’t get you out of my pen

Your ink stains hard, stings

I can’t shake you, I can’t
I can’t get out of you

That ink-black hair,
Those ink blot eyes
Those lips like blood stains

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t

I forget you mostly,
but I shouldn’t have done that

I want in your system
I want to crawl inside you,
I should have brought your mouth to mine and made you forget
everything
else

I’m shaking, shaking, I can’t can’t
It’s been too long

It’s been too long

25.

forget him forget him forget him forget him
sidle over here and let me see you

let your hair down over me
let your fingers go,
let your shirt hang loose

let me get at what’s inside you
I wanna see the roots and vines
that tangle underneath your skin
I want your breath in my veins

let me see those lips, girl
let me see how they bloom like flower petals
when you say my name

let me say your name

let me hold it between my tongue and teeth
and tickle the consonants and vowels
I wanna trace the knots in your back
and stitch up your broken places

forget him forget him forget him forget him
come over here pretty girl and let me see you

24.

i want
basking in the glow of you

i want your glow, your light
i want it inside me

i have always,
i have always

i want your fast your wet
i want you the best way i know how

i want
elementary school hands and
middle school bras and
high school beds and
college love

and i have always,
i have always

23.

aches and pains behind my eyes and eyebrows
my head hurts
my heart hurts
i don’t know what else to do

sludging dripping across blank paper
i am terrible at this
i thought that was the last time,
no,
no there will never be a last time

who is here to help me?

maybe she was right and maybe i should stop pushing this hard
maybe i’m not cut out for this
maybe i should throw in the towel

i hurt, i hurt, i hurt, i hurt, i hurt

another day ends the same way
another cliché poem
another fucked up white girl from the suburbs
another tiny tragedy

i’ll just crawl back inside
and wait for the rain to come